Kronos and Shippings
by Chocopie09
Summary: Kronos shares his most secret thoughts about all the shippings. All shippings imaginable. Not hating on any of the characters or shippings!
1. Percabeth

**A/N: Hope you like it! Please review! **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: If I owned the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, my name would be on the cover. Is my name on the cover? No. The name on the cover is Rick Riordan. I'm not Rick Riordan.

---------

Kronos on…**PERCABETH**!

"What people see in Percy Jackson is beyond me. In my opinion, he is an adolescent weakling who needs an attitude adjustment. He has obviously not inherited any genes from me, his grandfather. (EW! That is just gross! No wonder all my current relatives are retarded. They have interbred so much it's disgusting!) He is so totally like his dad, who never listened to me as a teenager either. Man, I remember Poseidon causing floods as a teenager, and he has obviously not gotten any better.

"Annabeth Chase, on the other hand, is even worse. She needs to know the difference between reality and fantasy. Her befuddled brain is still dreaming up fantasies about being with Luke, yet back in the real world Luke has been taken over by me! Teehee! I love being evil! Blond hair and gray eyes are stupid combined. Never liked that girl Athena. I saw her and I was like, 'Hello.' And she was like, 'Why aren't you speaking Greek?' I HATE HER!

"Plus, it's not like they're ever going to get together, right? Percy is too stupid to realize that he likes Annabeth, and Annabeth is swooning for Luke. Why am I talking to you?"

**A/N: So did you like it? You reviews determine if there's a second chapter! Flames destroy everything! Constructive criticism is welcomed. **


	2. Thaluke

**A/N: So this is the second chapter! Review!**

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: If I owned the Percy Jackson series, oh boy, you don't even want to know what would have happened.

-----

Kronos on…**THALUKE**!

"Who's Thalia again? Oh yeah, that puny little girl who hates Barbies, right? Geez, she's so…I dunno, like Artemis obsessed? That was a pretty big surprise there at the end of The Titan's Curse, when she became a Hunter. Wasn't expecting that. She being a Hunter didn't exactly help Bianca, ya know? Plus, technically, she had already fallen for boys, so I don't see why Artemis didn't reject her. Like Annabeth, Thalia harbors secret thoughts about Luke. I bet in her dreams, she has weddings with him.

"Luke is a coward. He wouldn't take a dip in the Styx for me. I mean, come on! If you pledge your life to a all-powerful Titan, Lord of Time, whatever, you should do what they tell you! I mean, it's not that bad, ya know? Jump into the water, avoid dissolving in acid, and you're invincible! Not too hard!

"Unfortunately, this doomed couple probably won't progress much farther than Stage 4 in a relationship. You know the stages? Here they are:

"Stage 1: First date (Probably snuck off when Annabeth was asleep.)

"Stage 2: First kiss (Oh, you know they had one!)

"Stage 3: Spend the night (It gets lonely with the Hunters sometimes. Thalia needs a break.)

"Stage 4: Spend the weekend. (Luke needs to get away from Annabeth's nonstop pestering.)

"Stage 5: Exchange keys to each other's cabins (N/A)

"Stage 6: Vacation alone with each other (N/A)

"Stage 7: The proposal (N/A)

"Stage 8: Wedding (Most definitely N/A)

"Look at how doomed they are. I would almost feel sorry for them, if it was in my power to feel sorry for anybody."

------

**A/N: Press that little button down there! Next up, Clarisse/Chris! **


	3. Charisse

**A/N: This is Clarisse/Chris. I don't know how that shipping is spelled, so I just put it like that. Reviews are welcome!**

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: If I owned the Percy Jackson series, Nico would have been paired with somebody.

-----

Kronos on…**CHARISSE!**

"Clarisse is a thickheaded girl I have the misfortune to call my great-granddaughter. She's got nothing going for her: she's rude, isn't hot, and is as dumb as a block of wood. I'm at a loss for why anybody would want to be her boyfriend. It's just one of those mysteries of life, ya know? I swear, Riordan probably just added this dumb romance thing because she was like nothing.

"Chris is an idiot who stupidly went into the Labyrinth. I mean, I was joking! He actually took my, ok, failed, attempt at humor seriously. I was just like, 'Hey, Chris! Go to the Labyrinth to find some string!' But back to the story.

"This relationship never progressed more than holding hands. Why? Because Chris probably realized that Clarisse was not for him but knew that Clarisse would pulverize him. If he kissed her, he would probably grow warts on his mouth. Don't even mention French kissing. Not everybody is suited to be a frog.

-----

**A/N: So there you have Charisse! I will probably do Beckenlena next. Everybody loves buttons, right? So press that little button down there! **

**-Chocopie09**


	4. Beckenlena

**A/N: Once again, I have no idea what Beckendorf/Silena is so I just made up my own abbreviation. **

**To answer people's questions: **

**Thalia Castellan****: Actually, I am planning to do a couple of Kronos pairings. That should be fun.**

**The Poetic Nightmare****: Yeah, I was bored and had nothing to do. I agree with you about Clarisse.**

**Artemis's Lieutenant****: I am definitely going to do weird pairings. **

**Thanks to everybody who reviewed! You are all good people! **

DISCLAIMER: What makes you think I don't own the PJO series? Hmmm? Maybe I'm actually Rick Riordan in disguise! Too bad I'm not…*cries silently*

-----

Kronos on…**BECKENLENA! **

"Beckendorf is a buff teenage boy who is almost like Percy Jackson all over again. He's a demigod who doesn't realize that some girl is hitting on him. Sigh…why can't I have some decent descendants? Beckendorf enjoys metalworking waaaay too much for it just to be a hobby. Apparently he was once seen kissing some Celestial bronze. And they say I'm creepy. Beckendorf takes disturbing to a whole new level.

"Silena Beauregard's name was so obviously taken from Selene, the old moon goddess lady. Wait…what does that have to do with anything? Oh well, you'll have to excuse me, I just discovered something called...alcohol, is it? Well, whatever it is, it's very nice. *pauses to vomit on the floor* Anyway, Silena could probably have had any guy (in fact, I was considering taking her if I won…hehe…unfortunately, she didn't make it…), however, she chose that filthy Hephaestus boy…and over ME too! I cried for days, do you know that?

"Now, they're both dead and down in Elysium, probably making out on a corner…does nobody understand my pain? Wait, I'm not finished yet…."

-----

**A/N: Slightly disturbing. Creepy. Whatever. I have a command sequence for you all: **

**Hello (insert your name here). Command sequence: Daedalus 23! Review story! Begin activation! **

**On request, I'm going to do Gruniper next. **


	5. Gruniper

**A/N: Now for Gruniper! (Dang, that looks really weird!) **

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the PJO series, so stop rubbing it in my face Rick Riordan!"

-----

Kronos on…**GRUNIPER! **

"_Erre es korakas_! Did this author give me this job just to humiliate me? (Yes. Also to get revenge for sort-of killing Beckendorf and Ethan) Have I been reduced to discussing nature spirit relationships? (Yes.) Fine. I will show all of you!"

"I don't really know much about Juniper, but I can tell you, from the little I know about her, I have to say she's very, very attractive. Hmm…perhaps I had better give up on Silena...okay, I'm drifting off.

"Anyway, I've no objection to Juniper (except for the fact that she on the enemy's side, but whatever. Hotness conquers all.), however, I have to say that that stupid satyr definitely doesn't deserve Juniper. I mean, he looks like a goat! With horns and everything! Who would want him? Plus, he kept her waiting for two whole freakin' months! And those pipes are getting irritating. No, I think Juniper needs somebody more…experienced.

"Okay, seriously, why am I talking to you? I demand a lawyer! I…"

----

**A/N: I always thought Gruniper was sweet, except I think they would look kinda weird together…**

**Awesomeness for anybody who suggests a funny pairing for the next chapter! Otherwise, I'm going to do Prachel. **

**That little button down there turns a pale shade of green when you press it, you know. It's a very pretty sight nobody wants to miss! **


	6. Rico

**A/N: On request of ****PERCYJACCKSONFAN2009****, this one is going to be Nichel. However, I'm going to call it Rico. **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: Every time I look at the covers of the PJO series, something dies a little inside me.

-----

Kronos on…**RICO!**

"Rachel is just a spoiled rich kid who gets everything she wants, and to top it all, can see through the Mist. She's _waaay_ too perfect. So what if her parents suck? I _killed_ my father and my mother plotted to kill _me_! Compared to _my_ parents, hers are pretty fantastic.

"She's got the _top floor_ of their house?! That's insane! Plus, no weakling child like her should have the power to cut short a vacation to the Caribbean just like that! Two words: SPOILED. RICH. KID. (Oh wait, that's three words. Whatever.)

"Nico, another child I am forced to call my grandson, is the modern equivalent of GOTH or EMO. I swear, he probably cuts himself. I'm also strangely concerned for his safety because twelve/thirteen year-olds shouldn't be either goth or emo…

"Nico has that stupid fat short sword that's black…like everything else he owns. Having seen his sister smash herself to death inside a hunk of metal, I can sort of see why he went slightly insane and became an arsonist for a short while and burned all his Mythomagic cards…

"On a totally random note, Rico in Spanish means 'rich', like in Puerto Rico (the rich port), which totally makes sense because Nico is the son of Hades, who owns all that crap under the dirt, and Rachel, while not quite as filthy rich (emphasis on the word 'filthy') is still pretty loaded.

"On another totally random note, Rico could be like a nickname for Rick Riordan…hehe…"

-----

**A/N: So, how was it? Did the activation sequence last chapter work? Shall we try again?**

**-Chocopie09**


	7. Prachel

**A/N: I'm just going to do Prachel to get it over with. **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: Disclaimer Persona: "DO YOU OWN THE PJO SERIES?"

Me: *sobs loudly and dramatically* If I did, I would have an enormous mansion, and a plasma TV, and a phone and…

-----

Kronos on…**PRACHEL!**

"This relationship was doomed from the start because even if Percy Jackson and that spoiled brat Rachel actually became official boyfriend/girlfriend, that whiney little girl Annabeth would still take her Celestial bronze knife and kill Rachel. Or at least brutally disfigure her.

"Oh well, as much as I'd enjoy seeing that scene, Rachel doesn't even like Percy anyway. She freakin' dumped him in from of a goddess! 'Percy, I know what my destiny is now. Our fates were never intertwined.' Come on, what a lame way to end a relationship that never even started anyway! *Big dramatic sigh...*

"Wait…what is that dark crowd coming my way…it looks like a bunch of people carrying axes…*interview is abruptly stopped as Kronos is hacked to little pieces with axes by people wearing T-shirts that say PRACHEL FOREVA!*

-----

**A/N: I thought it was pretty harsh when Rachel dumped Percy….**

**Review or I will give you Kronos' fate!**

**-Chocopie09**


	8. Tynnabeth

**A/N: This is Tynnabeth. Yay for Tynnabeth!**

**-Chocopie09**

Disclaimer Persona: DO YOU OWN PJO?

Me: You wanna know whether I own PJO? YOU WANNA KNOW WHETHER I OWN PJO?!

Disclaimer Persona: YES!

Me:...no…

-----

Kronos on…**TYNNABETH!**

"I swear, mortals nowadays are just sick, sick, sick perverts! For gods sake! Tyson is a thirty-foot Cyclops who enjoy chunky peanut butter and possibly may harbor a secret longing for Percy…ANYWAY he has one eye (like, duh! He's a Cyclops! If he had two eyes, he wouldn't be one!) and it is all big and brown and blink-y, like a baby eye. Apparently it is rimmed with long eyelashes like a cow's eye.

"I can kinda see why Annabeth could like him though. If Prachel turned out to be true, then she could have babies with Tyson because he contains ¼ of Percy's DNA! Or she could sleep with Poseidon and get ½ of his DNA! Yay for creepy gross slashing! (But gods don't have DNA, right?? What the hell am I talking about?)

"If Percy saw them kissing, he would probably become emo and commit suicide using Riptide… I can just see them now: Percy walking along the beach to find Annabeth when suddenly he sees them Frenching under a palm tree…now that's harsh.

"If people think I'm a pervert, well, this is just taking perverted to a whole new level…"

----

**A/N: I think Tynnabeth is funny! Love it! Percy wouldn't be able to take it…there are actually some hysterical PJO stories out there that contain Tynnabeth! R&R, which stands for Rachel and Rodriguez (Chris!)! Awesomeness of a cracky pairing! **


	9. Pally

**A/N: Whoo! Go Pally!**

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: Is it ok if I scream? Just wondering.

-----

Kronos on…**PALLY!**

"Okay, first of all, Pally is a stupid name. Retarded. Now that we've got that cleared up, I'd like to say that Poseidon was my least favorite…grrr…son. He was always skipping school to go fishing by the Styx! (Back then, it was not polluted. I used to take a dip now and then.) I'd come home everyday and I'd find his backpack or schoolwork or whatever and I'd think he had left it behind, so I'd take it to his class. When I'd get there, I'd hear that Poseidon never even came to school! Then he'd come home with a serpent for dinner, and Rhea would always forgive him! GRRR… I was so freakin' happy when I heard about the Great Prophecy! No more demigods from that stupid sea god! YAY! *dances around in a happy dance*

"I don't know much about Sally Jackson, but I can say that she is waaay overrated. The dancing light thingy with her eyes, and how apparently they change color? That's creepy, not lovely. (Actually, it's really creepy.) Wow, she works in a sweets shop. How creative. She's almost like a Mary Sue. Bright eyes that change color, long dark brown hair, apparently beautiful face, sweets shop job, plus the fact that she slept with Poseidon and can see through the Mist? Sally Jackson has too much power in the story! I PROTEST!!

"However, I did find it slightly hilarious when she was squeezed into golden glitter by a bull. HAHAHAHA! *laughs maniacally* I knew Zeus would be the first one to fall off the wagon, then Poseidon! MWAHAHA!"

-----

**A/N: Ah, Kronos, you freak. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! You all deserve awesomeness! *hands out awesomeness* Do you want MORE awesomeness? Review again! **


	10. Gannabeth

**A/N: On request of DemonicMoonBabe, this one's going to be Gannabeth! **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: What makes you think I don't own PJO? Huh? Okay, okay…

----

Kronos on…**GANNABETH!**

"Grover is a thirty-two year old who is secretly impersonating a sixteen year old half-goat. He's hiding from his past crimes, I tell you! It's madness! MADNESS! Satyrs are creepy like that. I mean the whole aging differently from humans. Grover should be losing his fur, and married (well, married for a satyr, because they don't have females…what the hell?! How does that even work?!). Instead, he is flirting with trees that are cloaked with see-through floaty gossamer dresses and eating enchiladas…

"Does everybody realize that Annabeth has known Grover much longer than she has known Percy? For all we know, there could be a little Gannabeth child out there right now. Percy came into Annabeth's life when she was twelve, and Grover came into her life when she was seven. Does nobody see what I see?

"Just between you and me, I think that between all the demigods/gods (both male and female), the random people who just pop into the story, and the bad guys, Annabeth should choose…THALIA! It would be so perfect, you know? 'Cause, like, Thalia is all powerful with her lightning fingers and stuff and she raises white fur puppies in the mountains. And that silky, glossy black hair and those electric blue eyes…okay, I'm getting off topic.

"Who couldn't fall for that? I ask you this seriously!"

----

**A/N: Ew, ew, ew. Gross. *erases images of Kronos/Thalia and Annabeth/Thalia quickly before permanent scarring of the brain sets in.* Until next time!**

**-Chocopie09**


	11. Palia

**A/N: Hey everybody! This is Palia! Enjoy!  
-Chocopie09**  
DISCLAIMER: Do I really need to repeat myself? I mean, really?

Kronos on...**PALIA!**  
"Is it possible to be as goth-y and punk-y as Thalia Grace? I mean, the heavy eyeliner, the unruly black hair, the DIE BARBIE tee shirt, plus the general gothness...it's all too much. I suppose Rick Riordan decided that the PJO series wasn't depressing enough so he just HAD to add a whiney emo girl in for chuckles. I'd also like to point out a couple mistakes. In one of the first couple of nightmares I sent down to Percy (and yes, they were extremely incredibly fun to send...teehee...), Thalia has stormy green eyes. However, when she is brought back to life by my awesome plans (YAY for me! *cheers really creepily*), that girl Thalia has BRIGHT BLUE EYES. I mean, what the heck? Plus, neither one of those makes sense because Zeus has rainy GRAY eyes...whatever. This whole eye color thingy might just be one of those life mysteries.  
"It would be extra creepy of Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace got together. Why? Well, I can think of about a million reasons why, but some of the most important ones are...  
1. Percy and Thalia are COUSINS! Creepy interbreeding!  
2. Percy is like, only sixteen, and Thalia would be, like, five years older than him if there hadn't been the whole turning-into-a-tree thingy, so that makes her...hmmm...TWENTY-ONE!  
3. Their parents are mortal enemies. (Hmmm...should I say godly enemies instead? That sounds weird, but it makes more sense.)  
4. Percabeth is obviously going to happen.  
5. Palia soulds stupid. (Well, so does Percabeth, but whatever? You get my drift?)  
"See what I mean? I mean, whoa...I just spouted out like ten reasons on why they shouldn't get together already! Oh wait, that's more like...less...whatever!"  
-----**  
A/N: It is kinda creepy that Thalia would be twenty-one if she hadn't been turned into a tree...  
Until next time! I always need more suggestions! Put them in a review and it'll make them all that much nicer...  
-Chocopie09**


	12. Mr Athena

**A/N: On request of ****Born of Osiris****, I am going to do Mr. Chase/Athena. It's just going to be Mr. Athena because I have absolutely no clue what Annabeth's dad's first name is. So just sit back and relax. Enjoy!**

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: In the word DISCLAIMER, there is the word CLAIMER, and in the word CLAIMER, there is the word LAIMER. LAMER! DISCLAIMERS are LAME!

-----

Kronos on…**MR. ATHENA!**

"Athena is a puny little wimp of a goddess who is obviously in over her head about being the goddess of WISDOM. To be her kid would SUCK. Why? Because she has no special powers besides brainiac power, which is one of the stupidest, lamest powers ever. Her kids aren't particularly good fighters, and they just seem to sit around their cabin and talk about brainy geeky stuff.

"Her feud with Poseidon has gone waaaay too far for my liking. So he took his girlfriend to her temple. Hey, she freakin' TURNED HER INTO A PETRIFYING MUTANT MONSTER ALONG WITH HER TWO SISTERS! I would say that debt's paid off. Well, there was also that whole Athens thingy. Poseidon lost, but he made a stupid saltwater spring, when you can find saltwater in…hmmm, lemme think, the ocean! There's tons of saltwater there! Even though I do not like olives much, I have to say Athena's gift is better, so she shouldn't be mad at Poseidon. See, this is why Percabeth took so long to develop!

"Mr. Chase (no idea what his first name is, but whatever. It doesn't matter much anyway.) was (is) a weak, geeky nerd who couldn't graduate from Harvard without a goddess's help. Now, that is sad. Athena practically had to help Mr. Chase cheat is way through college. One thing led to another and…well, somehow (we REALLY don't want to know how) Annabeth was born from Athena's BRAIN, like Athena was herself. Then Mr. Chase looks out the window one day and sees a tacky gold box outside. He goes to look inside the box, thinking it's his package. Instead, he finds a small human! Hehe, I would have given anything to see his face.

"Then he decided to take her back to Athena but she got mad and broke up with him. Athena went back to her home on Mount Olympus and had a temper tantrum. Mr. Chase went back to his home somewhere with a brain child to raise. I would almost feel sorry for him, except this IS sort of his own fault."

-----

**A/N: Whew! This is probably one of the longest chapters yet. I really think the whole "brain child" concept is HILARIOUS! Percy's reaction was priceless! Until next time. **

**Hey, did you know that I am sick right now? Sick people need comfort and comfort is in reviews. Do you see what I mean?**

**-Chocopie09**


	13. Annico

**A/N: Ok, so like this is Annico! Whoo! ****IanXAmy-DanXNatalie**** requested Annico. Lots of people have been requesting ideas! Thanks to everybody! I could give you hugs, but since I have absolutely no idea who you people are, I am just going to go with a virtual Internet fanfiction hug. *hugs the fanfiction way* I am no sick anymore! Though it's most likely from lots of rest, I believe that it is the reviews! YAY! Ok, I should stop ranting now and get on with the actual chapter.  
-Chocopie09**  
DISCLAIMER: If a tree falls in the middle of the woods but nobody is around, does it make a sound? Ok...I have absolutely no idea what that has to do with ANYTHING. Whatever. Moving on.

Kronos on...**ANNICO!**  
"Personally, I think that little emo brat Nico Di Angelo should be paired with...hmmm...lemme think a moment...THALIA! But that would be gross, because Thalia is supposed to be, like, twenty-one, and Nico is only, like, twelve, so that is kind of freaky. Even if you go by her biological age, she is still fifteen. Ummm...like, weird-o. But I'm getting off topic here. I thought you wanted to know about Annabeth and Nico, not Thalia and Nico!  
"In case some ignorant mortal brats out there don't know who Nico is, I will tell you in two words: EMO. HADES. DEPRESSED. Oh wait, that was three. But whatever. Those three words are related to each other, but you do not want to see them together. Nico is my least favorite grandson (oh wait, there's that idiot Percy Jackson, but someday I will crush him, so whatever), who was sired by my least favorite son. Kinda perfect, right? He had a stereotypical big sister named Bianca who got herself killed inside a big moving hunk of metal. His OVER-PROTECTIVE mother got HERSELF killed trying to swaddle him in hotel towels to protect him and Bianca as the world crumbled for the Big Three.  
"When Nico and Annabeth first met, it was most definitely NOT the most romantic thing ever. They were aquainted under rather dire circumstances involving a evil monster known as a manticore who snuck into Nico and Bianca's boarding school and pretended to be Vice Principal Thorn. At that point, Nico was a mere weakling who liked to lounge around and play that card game or whatever, called Mythomagic. (It is a really stupid game, by the way. I'd rank it probably last. Pac Man is the best, of course. Even I have to agree with Dionysus on this one.) However, I suppose Nico matured a little bit after his sister practically stepped into a death trap. That would do that to anybody. However, any emotional issues he had with Annabeth were sort of pushed to the side because by the time he knew how to French kiss, Annabeth and Percy had already saved the world and made out in the Camp Half-Blood lake.  
"I thought you just wanted to know about Percabeth. Isn't this going a little far? Hello??"

**A/N: Ahh Kronos, you know we love irritating you. Now I have a little funny song to sing to you good people out there.  
R is for reading my fanfiction  
E is evil people who need to be destroyed for not reviewing  
V is for very special people who win a general feeling of awesomeness because you gave somebody a review  
I is for interest because I check my email in hopes for new reviews  
E is for everything that my readers have done  
W is for the white and black of print...review print...**

Hope you liked it!  
Until next time!  
-Chocopie09


	14. Nalia

**A/N: Did anybody besides Thalia Castellan notice the Naila hints?? Anybody??  
Anyway, so this is Nalia.  
-Chocopie09**  
DISCLAIMER: Wouldn't it be really freaky if a god/goddess accidentally claimed a half-blood that wasn't actually their child? And then they found out their mistake? That would be weird.

Kronos on...**NALIA!**  
"Like I said before, Nico di Angelo is twelve and Thalia Grace is chronologically already twenty-one. Thalia Grace should be, like, graduating from college and all that stuff, even though it would be such a waste to spend all that college money on a child who probably has never made better than a C in life. Who knows if she would even get in! However, since Thalia is now biologically fifteen forever and ever, those things won't matter much. I do wonder however, if she will be all sad for when Percy Jackson or Annabeth Chase die. I would like to see that. Okay...I have really got to stop getting so off topic all the time.  
"Since Thalia joined the Hunters of Artemis right before she turned sixteen, she is kinda off limits now to all boys, since almost all of the Hunters would like to shoot all the guys in the world. Artemis is no better. She is, like, the goddess of feminism, which sounds so weird. Nico and Thalia would look pretty good together though, with their matching black hair (though Thalia's hair is more punk style) and um...their general goth/emoness! Yeah! Even their eyes would look really awesome together, because Nico has, like, intense black eyes from Hades and Thalia has (I think) electric blue eyes from Zeus (although Zeus is described as having RAINY GRAY eyes, but whatever. That's not too important.). Even if Thalia had green eyes like in one of Percy Jackson's dreams (aka nightmares/prophecies...I love, love, prophecies) they would look good together because green and black just look good together. It gives off a sort of sea-is-in-the-middle-of-a-big-enormous-stormy look. I like that. I guess you could use that to describe Percabeth too, because, like, Annabeth has stormy gray eyes and Percy has green eyes. Heck, you could do it for Luke (before he was destroyed by me...hehe...) and Annabeth too! It seems like this stormy-sea thing is pretty common!  
"Did you know that Nico has a EMO song that he made up with Thalia? I heard him singing it in the shower. Yes, I heard him in the shower. IT WAS A PUBLIC SHOWER! Don't be disgusting. Here it goes:  
_ Oh, I like to be emo  
It's really great for people  
I love to be depressing  
Thalia thinks this song is messing  
With my sanityyyyyyyyyy...  
I can only say it messes with her vainityyyyyy...  
OF BEING AN EMO LIKE MEEEEEEEEEE..._  
"All I can say is, 'HOLY CRAP! MY EARS HAVEN'T EVEN REGISTERED THE FACT THAT IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT SUCKS SO FREAKIN' MUCH!' Yes, that is what I said. Then I heard Nico scream and then I heard footsteps running away. I think they were going into the ground, but whatever."

**A/N: I was going to use nigahiga's EMO song, but at the last minute I decided not to. I wanted to make up a really retarded song and I do believe I succeeded.  
REVIEW or I will come to your house and throw wee bunnies at you! Would you like sharp teeth or REALLY sharp teeth? Your choice.  
Next, Lannabeth, because I just realized that I'm getting into the really random pairings and I haven't even done this sort-of canon pairing yet!  
-Chocopie09**


	15. Nico's Problem

**A/N: I am so sorry, but this isn't a shipping chapter. I will probably do short chapters in-between. Lannabeth will DEFINITELY be next though.  
Remember Nico running down into the Underworld after Kronos screamed in the shower? This is what happened. Thanks to ****Thalia Castellan**** for the idea.  
Enjoy!  
-Chocopie09**  
DISCLAIMER: *cut to scene of Rick Riordan dragging me into a chair*  
Rick Riordan: DO YOU OWN PJO?  
Me: *as the feeling of inadequacy makes me shrivel...(HAHA! Bones quote! I take no credit!)*

Whoever the creepy maniac in the public shower was, Nico didn't want to find out. Quickly, he melted into the floor, shadow travel style. He raced past all the completely stunned security ghouls, and was stopped only by one.  
Charon, white in the face, stuttered, "Um...blah...gross...scarred...for...death..."  
Nico wondered, What the heck is he muttering about? But he didn't take much time to think about it. He pushed past Charon and ran towards the throne room. Demeter was there, making cereal, and humming to herself. When she heard Nico coming, she looked up with a lukewarm smile. However, when she saw him, she did something very odd: she fainted onto the floor.  
Nico was like, "HOLY CRAP DEMETER FAINTED!!" Nobody came due to the fact that Nico had a rather bad tendency to play practical jokes on dead people.  
Demeter stirred. She stood up shakily and stumbled away. "Hey, Demeter, wait!" But she wouldn't wait. Nico sighed and heard a shriek behind him.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!!!!!! THEY BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Persephone cried in agony. Nico was like, "What the heck? You're fine!" Persephone ran away gasping and sobbing, her hands covering her eyes.  
Nico shrugged and walked into the throne room. Hades was sitting on his throne inspecting his new underwear that just came in. Twenty more evil people's souls sewed in! He barely acknoledged Nico's presence. "Hello son."  
"FATHER! FATHER! SOMETHING WAS IN A PUBLIC SHOWER AND I WAS SINGING AND I HEARD SOMETHING CREEPY AND-"  
"Whoa, slow down Nico HOLY CRAP WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!!!!" Hades was on the ground gasping for air. Yes, he was laughing that hard.  
By the way, Hades NEVER laughs.  
"Father, what is it? I was just telling you some important news!" Nico sulked.  
"YOU...YOU...WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!" Hades was rolling on the floor laughing. Yes, ROTFL.  
Nico suddenly remembered.  
His clothes.  
They were still in the public shower.  
Nobody was watching them.  
He had been wearing his pink skull underpants.  
HOLY CRAP!  
Hades was still laughing.

**A/N: So, did you like it?  
Review this chapter please because I might make more little extra chapters in between the shippings!  
-Chocopie09**


	16. Lannabeth

**A/N: Ok, hope everybody liked the last chapter! By the way, Demeter and Persephone both made full recoveries. Hades did not stop laughing for one week. **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: I disclaim everything about this fanfic except Nico's pink skull underwear. THAT IS MY IDEA!

-----

Kronos on…**LANNABETH!**

"Luke was a total stereotypical Hermes half-blood until I fixed him up into a ship-shape Kronos minion! WHOO! Go me! I did the same for Ethan Nakamura! Luke was kind of a coward because, I mean, he wouldn't dive into the Styx for me until I gave him chocolate! *shouts down to the Underworld, "LUKE YOU COWARD!* I mean, it is just some boiling acid. No big deal.

"Luke was somewhat oblivious to Annabeth's SUPER TRANSPARENT CRUSH on him, a little bit like Annabeth's ignorance to Percy Jackson's crush. If Luke and Annabeth were normal children, and not half-bloods, Annabeth's parents would be, like, "Um, no, you're not dating a boy who is seven years older than you!" I mean, I would. Say that, that is, not date a boy seven years older than me.

"Annabeth has the stupidest comebacks. One of the worst was this one. I was fighting her in New York and I called her a b****. I expected her to either get really pissed off or burst into tears, giving me a momentary advantage. However, instead she just smiled in this really creepy way and replied, in the iciest voice possible to mankind, "You call me a b****? Well, a b**** is a female dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows in trees. Trees are nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment!" Then she, like, waved her hands around in a flirty way which caused Percy to lose his momentary concentration to gasp in horror, resulting in Ethan Nakamura being able to almost stab him.

"But seriously, what kind of comeback is that? ANNABETH, IF YOU ARE HEARING ME TALK RIGHT NOW, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST COMEBACK EVER! PLUS, DON'T EVER TRY TO FLIRT WITH ANYBODY! ESPECIALLY ME! Okay, I'm done ranting now.

"This relationship, like all Luke relationships, is totally doomed unless they can have a relationship through the Underworld."

-----

**A/N: Hope everybody liked it! I had kind of forgotten the Luke/Annabeth pairing until recently I was thinking about pairings and then I was, like, "OH MY GODS I TOTALLY FORGOT LANNABETH!" But whatever. By the way, I have that comeback on my profile! **

**Review or be ratted out for your secret stash of gooey delicious chocolate that you hid in your oven! (Although I think it's all melted…but whatever!)**

**-Chocopie09**


	17. Nicoper

**A/N: This is Nicoper! Enjoy!**

**If you hate flamers, join the Non-Flamers! On my profile, PM me if you want to join. **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: *gods and demigods alike surround me*

Me: What did I ever do?

Gods/Demigods: You made us look STUPID!

Me: NO! I own nothing! Get Rick Riordan instead! He owns everything!

*crowd rushes after Rick Riordan*

Me: Phew…

-----

Kronos on…**NICOPER!**

"I still haven't QUITE forgiven Nico for his girlish screaming in that public shower! His singing made him sound like a hellhound on crack! However, I did get a TINY little bit of satisfaction from learning later that his father, Hades, had completely fallen over laughing because Nico had forgotten to put on his clothes. Demeter and Persephone were sent to the hospital, and I heard that week all the flowers in Manhattan wilted slightly. What an odd little kawinkidink!

"Anyway, there were actually some hints to this pairing, which surprised me just a little bit. I mean, pairings like Kronos/Thalia and Kronos/Tyson are totally not real. I mean, get a clue! *nervously wipes head*

"But seriously, there were definitely little hints, especially right before the final showdown in Manhattan. (By the way, did you see me, like, acting and reacting and just totally HAMMERING it? Oh, wait, is it nailing or hammering? Whatever. I was a fantastic sword guy and a fantastic evil dude!) Anyway, right before, Juniper, that insufferable little tree dryad who wears the see-through dresses and cries green, was all clinging on to Nico's arm and staring up to him with her elfish looking eyes. I swear, that boy Nico totally BLUSHED! BLUSHED I TELL YOU! He has got to be, like, the weirdest kid I have ever met in all these thousands of years!

"Sadly (as if I could feel sad about any of these pairings), this relationship just never quite took off due to Juniper's girlfriend (oops, I mean boyfriend…that was a totally innocent mistake, right? Duh!) Grover Underwood, the satyr and now a Lord of the Wild, returning and smashing Nico's fragile hopes and self-esteem as Juniper immediately dumped all her feelings for him and made out with Grover on the beach in plain sight. Ah, young love."

-----

**A/N: So, that was Nicoper for you people out there! Thanks for all the reviews! They made me feel happy, and when I'm happy, I can update with more chapters quicker! **

**By the way, for people who are wondering about my story Diane Cartle, it won't be updated for a while because my fanfiction friend Kizumi9810 is currently on vacation and we are writing it together. But it WILL be updated!**

**Next up, the long-awaited FIRST KRONOS PAIRING!**

**-Chocopie09**


	18. Kally

**A/N: Ok, so this is *drumroll, please. DUM DUM DUM DUM!* the KRONOS pairing!**

**Enjoy! I will probably do a really gross slash next. **

**Also, I have recently started the Non-Flamers. If you want to be a part of the Non-Flamers, tell me in a PM. If you change your penname a lot, tell me. Also tell me if you change your penname, because I want to keep this list up to date. As of this current moment, there are four people on the Non-Flamers list. **

**-Chocopie09**

DISCLAIMER: Um, since when did I even CLAIM the PJO series? How can I disclaim something I never even claimed? Use logic, people!

-----

Kronos on…**KALLY!**

"Well, I am extremely fascinated and grossed out at the same time that anybody could come up with such an utterly disgusting pairing. Kronos, is, of course, the Lord of Time, the Crooked One, one of the great Titans, father to six of the Olympians, and grandfather to the other six. In other words, me. I am so awesome. Like, I have so many titles and stuff, and when I was a young Titan, I was always the hottest. All the girls would, like, swarm me, and my brothers would be all sulky and gloomy. Hehe…they were all such spoiled wimps.

"Sally Jackson, of course, has some titles too, although they are not quite as fantastic as mine are. She is the mother of Percy Jackson, Seer through the Mist, and lover of Poseidon. Those are some pretty weird titles. I definitely wouldn't want those titles, especially the first and last. *vomits* (A/N: Um, Kronos/Poseidon pairing, anybody?)

"Anyway, like I've said before, Sally is such a Mary Sue. She is waaaay too perfect. Or, at least, she is to her son, Percy Jackson. Maybe she is actually a cruel inhuman being who just bewitched her son into thinking she is the coolest mom in the world. I mean, I gotta say, compared to my mom, Gaea, Goddess of the Earth, I have to say that a middle-aged sweets mom isn't so great.

"People should seriously consider that I am actually married. (Well, actually, now I'm divorced. Rhea didn't think I was treating the kids right. But seriously, I was fine! I was young, and paranoid. One of them was going to steal my spotlight! I had to eat all of them!) I do not cheat on my wife. (Well, there WAS that nymph with the blue dress…and that one with the golden hair…)

"I can definitely assure you, Evil Writer of this Story, that I am definitely not in any kind of relationship with Sally Jackson, nor do I harbor any romantic feelings for her.

That I can assure you."

-----

**A/N: Yay! My first Kronos pairing chapter! Once again, PM me if you want to join the Non-Flamers!**

**-Chocopie09**


	19. Porcy

**A/N: Oh my gods I am soooo sorry I haven't updated Kronos and Shippings for a long time! Here are my slightly pathetic reasons on why I haven't updated in a while. **

**I have not had much interest in for a while. **

**My computer is THE MANIFESTION OF EVIL!**

**I couldn't come up with a seriously gross slash. **

**Here are my not so stupid reasons.**

**I just moved. **

**School started**

**I was suddenly attacked by the terrible disease called W.B., more commonly known as Writer's Block. **

**Yeah, well, I had better get on with the chapter! This is Percy/Poseidon, so it's more like incest, but whatever. Porcy!! Next chapter will be Puke! **

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the PJO series anymore than I own the universe. (Though I will someday…hehehe *insert crazy maniacal Kronos laugh here*)

-----

Kronos on…**PORCY!**

"This totally disgusting writer of this story is going to pay. I've had to go the Tartarus doctor THREE times recently because I was concerned on how my constant puking was affecting my health. (A/N: In case anybody is concerned, Kronos was fine. The doctor wrote him a prescription of Canon medicine.)

"Poseidon, of course, is my son, although around the time he was born, I found out that Rhea was cheating on me…so, to be honest with you, I'm not sure whether or not he's a genuine Kronos Baby. *people stare at him in fascinated disgust* What?

"Poseidon was my third least favorite son. Zeus is first, because he sliced me into pieces and threw me into a bottomless pit. No big deal. Hades is second, because he's all like, DEAD IS AWESOME!!! BE DEAD!!! It sickens me. Besides, he's stupid, because I can't die anyway. *laughs crazily, so the people closest to him take a couple steps back* Chiron is last because he is half horse. Rhea was really mad at me after that. I didn't care. Hey, I'm pretty sure she was having an affair with my DADDY!! And she has the NERVE to call me sick! That horse was really pretty…white creamy coat, pale hair flung wildly around her forehead, dark eyes meeting mine…it was pure magic. Sigh…

"I always knew that Percy Jackson kid was messed up. Heard yesterday on the Hephaestus News that Annabeth saw Percy Jackson kissing a blond dude, aka LUKE, but she didn't say anything, and instead posted a picture on Facebook. Ahahaha, I could have killed to see the look on his face. I have a Facebook too, you know. My name is awesome. It's Kronos Evil. Doesn't that have such a nice ring to it? I thought so.

"Hmmm…if Poseidon and Percy had kids, how would that work? AUGH, that is SOOOO sick! How could I even THINK that way?! Goodbye, I need to go to see a psychiatrist. I'm pretty sure I'm losing it."

-----

**A/N: Well, that's Porcy for you. Kronos is such a pervert. I always wondered how Chiron was his son, because Chiron's mom would have been a horse…anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I am almost at 100 reviews. Also, don't forget about the Non-Flamers!**

**Until next time,**

**-Chocopie09 **


	20. Author's Note I am continuing it!

Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm really sorry about not updating. Its just that I've been really, really, busy, and also recently I haven't had much interest in fanfiction. So yeah. Please please accept my lamo excuses. I will update soon, I promise!

-Chocopie09


	21. Puke

**A/N: Soo sorry I haven't updated! I've just been really busy. Yeah, so here's Puke! You know you love it!**

**I know it's kinda short especially considering I practically gave up on this story, but please please please give it a chance! *makes Mrs. O'Leary puppy face***

**-Chocopie09**

-----

Kronos on…**PUKE!**

"If these obsessed fan people come up with pairings with names any more disgusting, we shall have to haul a big bucket in here for everybody to throw up in. I am serious. It's irritatingly incredible.

"Oh, so you want my opinion? Okay, I'll give it to you. There's nothing interesting on Hephaestus TV anyway.

"Percy hasn't gotten any more mature since I first met him. Of course, we had a rather unfortunate meeting. I mean, he tried to stab me! And that Dare girl hit me in the eyeball with a hairbrush! My eye hurt for days! *cries loudly and emotionally while holding injured eyeball.* Those idiot sons of Poseidon are getting punier and punier every millennium.

"If I had to pick a favorite grandson, I'd say that the young man Luke Castellan would be the one. I mean, I owe it all to him. If it was in my power to like somebody, I might possibly say that I liked the boy. Too bad he died…I'd have liked to killed him myself. Then it'd go down into my Hall of Fame, in the section All the Terrible and Wicked Things the Titan Lord has Done. I think I'd like that. Oh well, no use crying over spilled nectar! Okay, I'm done. What else do you want? A freakin' written report?

"Oh, ok. You want to know if they'd look good together? Hmmm…tough. I guess their eyes would look nice together. Sea green and brilliant blue. Black hair and blond would look alright, I think. I mean, everybody seems to think Percy and Annabeth look cute, and she has blond hair. And those stunning gray eyes…I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANNABETH CHASE! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?? *snorts loudly*

"ANYWAY, they'd be pretty good together, except for the REALLY MINOR fact that Percy is (probably) not gay. Now Luke, well, let's just say he's questionable. Can I go now?"

-----

**A/N: Like I said, not too long, but I thought it was okay. I was going to update on 09-09-09 but I forgot. So this chapter is dedicated to 09-09-09. Here are some interesting facts about 09-09-09**

**-It's not going to happen for another 1000 years. **

**-the ninth month is September. September has 9 letters.**

**-09-09-09 happens to be the 252****nd**** day of the year. 2+5+2=9**

**-09-09-09 falls on a Wednesday. Wednesday has 9 letters. **

**Remember, review! It brings good luck to those who do it!**

**-Chocopie09**


End file.
